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Infidels And
The Cheaters Who Love Them
By Scot Mckay
Have you ever happened across the Jerry Springer
Show (I know this group can't actually be Tivoing it or anything…too
high class a crowd) and noticed how people who are cheaters can’t seem
to venture too far from home? I mean, the “other partner” always
seems to be drawn from a very shallow pool of best friends, sisters, brothers,
father-in-laws, etc. All the time.
If you are going to cheat, at least get far
enough from the nest that you at might have a fighter’s chance at not
getting caught. Right? And good grief, does anyone ever think about how awkward
the family time at Thanksgiving is going to be when all of the dust clears?
For the record, no. Cheaters don't think about
any of this stuff. There is no thought process there. Just the occasional
adrenaline rush.
Whatever.
Practically speaking, cheaters are by definition
non-thinkers. Consideration of details like process and consequences generally
cannot be bothered with at all, let alone managed effectively in these
situations. So then, it’s not surprising that cheaters tend to get found
out…and lose.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not
discounting the concept of someone wanting out of a dismal relationship so
badly that they may actually want to get caught cheating, just so the burden
of ending the relationship is on the other person. I'm sure that enters into
it often,
actually.
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Heavy stuff. Or should
I say, pathetic stuff.
Obviously I ruminate upon this sort of thing
a good bit. I should, after all it’s my job to. But still, the concept
of cheating on a partner in a committed relationship always causes me to
rehearse the line, “what goes around comes around” just one more
time.
Why?
Well, it’s simple. We as human beings have
a pattern. Whether we like it or not, we tend to be painfully predictable.
At the very fiber of our being, what makes up our moral core is going to
dominate…every time.
So it follows logically that if you choose to
cheat, you are going to live the life of a cheater.
Somebody reading this just said,
“Duh.”
I couldn’t agree more. “Duh.”
So what is up with all the cheating? There are clear consequences to living
that lifestyle, and they basically involve getting what you
deserve…infidelity. Essentially, if you build a relationship upon the
premise of cheating, how can you possibly expect anything in the future
but...more cheating? It has been said that after the first time cheating
happens, it is forever easier thereafter to repeat the offense. I think there
is decidedly some truth to that concept. Once conscience is breached, the
proverbial Pandora's Box is opened.
Suppose for a brief second that you are feeling
bored, sick, unattracted and/or flaky toward you committed partner. You have
an affair with someone who "floats your boat" more buoyantly. Yeah, well,
both you and your new, apparently exciting friend are CHEATERS. And should
you choose to leave your committed partner for your new friend, you will
both still be CHEATERS.
The takeaway here is that both YOU and your
PARTNER will have built whatever you build together upon CHEATING.
Did you get that? And guess what? You’ll
do it again.
Like it or not, cheaters indeed keep cheating.
Yours will be a relationship built upon dishonesty and lack of integrity.
How do you expect such a union to last? Rest assured it will not.
Meanwhile, your spurned ex will be out deserving
what he or she wants. A faithful partner is a good catch.
Will you be left wallowing in the error of your
ways? Not if you deserve what you want today…and stay true to the partner
you say you love. If there are issues, work them out. If you need to get
out more together, make it happen. And if you need to break up an exclusive
relationship, do so before heading on to "greener pastures". The proper thing
to do is break off one committed relationship before starting another. This
is the only way around the cheating issue. And yes...if you are
"separated"...consider thoroughly the importance of waiting until the divorce
is final before dating other people. You are still married until that happens,
and dating under these circumstances generally raises subtle doubts in the
mind of those you go out with.
But for Heaven’s sake…whatever you
do, don’t sleep with your brother-in-law just to make a point, okay?
It’s not going to lead to
happiness.
Want to hear more?
Scot McKay is a dating coach in San Antonio,
TX and founder of X & Y Communications, a one-stop-shop for dating resources.
He is the author of the new book “Deserve What You Want”, and hosts
the popular podcast series “X & Y On The Fly”.
He may be reached at scot@xandycommunications.net
or on the Web at
http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/
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